Month: August 2019

We are Better known by our Choices!

From breakfast till dinner, we have to make a lot of choices. Our day depends on these decisions. Similarly, our life is the outcome of our choices and decisions. Life is a four -letter word simple to spell but difficult to know well. It’s quite unpredictable and full of difficulties, struggles, and choices. Everyone has difficulty in their life. No one on this earth has a perfect life, in fact, we all are creators of our own life. A wise person once said, “when something bad happens, you have three choices. You can let it define you, let it destroy you, or let it strengthen you”. And our life is the outcome of our choice.

Let’s see the outcome of our choices, how we respond to the difficulties of our life:

  1. Let it define you: If you are opting to let the difficulties define you; then no one can help you unless you wish to help yourself. It’s not going to define you but shape and change your life. It will change your thinking, your personality, and perspective of life. Next time, when you encounter the same difficulty, you will try to lessen its effect but the previous scars takes a lot of time to heal.
  2. Let it destroy you: if this is your choice, then you are opting an irreversible and painful process. It’s just like burning your bridges with the real you. Sometimes, the hard time has such a massive effect that you can’t recover from that. This makes you weaker, vulnerable, and more susceptible resulting in losing your identity.
  3. Let it strengthen you: this is the best way to overcome the difficulties with a positive attitude. You will focus on every single positive aspect of the whole negative scenario. It will increase your fighting spirit and inner strength. By facing difficulties, we evolve with a better, effective, and immune version of ourselves. Diamond and coal have the same origin but a Diamond is a chunk of coal that did well under pressure. So, you decide what you want to be – Diamond or Coal? Remember “what doesn’t kill us, makes us stronger”. Embrace the struggle so that your inner strength shines like Diamond.

The impression of life on me is that ‘let it strengthen you’ is the best option to tackle the difficulties. Sometimes, you have to step back to gain the potential to jump across the barriers. So, when life is dragging you back with difficulties, it means that it’s going to launch you into something great. Do your best and prepare for the worst. This is the only way to explore your life to the fullest.

Be happy, Be yourself!

“Care about people’s approval, and you will always be their prisoner.”

Lao Tzu

It’s quite difficult to please everyone in this world. If you are trying to do that, then you are definitely inviting people to copyedit you.

Is it okay to change yourself to make others happy? Live the way they want you to? We can change certain habits that are malady for us too, but becoming a different person for others is not possible. We all may not agree on a particular matter, and it is okay as we are entitled to different opinions. It may be difficult to avoid the conformity pressure society puts on us, but hey, we are born to be unique, right? Are you going to change for each and everyone you meet in life? Ultimately, there won’t be any you left in you anymore but a hybrid of these opinions, better said, an alien. Don’t forget – No one is you and that is your superpower.

Be confident (not overconfident), respect others, be full of gratitude that makes you a better person. But if someone still wants you to change, then that’s their problem and not yours. And, maybe it’s them who need a change in their attitude and try accepting others as they are, not some tweaked version of their opinions. Life is not about pleasing everyone. If a few are not satisfied with you, then let them be.

Love and respect your individuality. Don’t spoil your originality for pleasing others. Do you need a certificate of approval to hang on your wall? No, right? Then accept yourself completely, the good and the bad. Make changes as you like and whatever helps you be a better person. Not for the sake of others who expect you to change for their benefits or self-satisfaction, but you. Take charge of your happiness and self-worth. Be happy, be yourself. And always remember the inspiring thought of Andrew Carnegie —

“If you want to be happy, set a goal that commands your thoughts, liberates your energy and inspires your hopes.”

It is easier to criticize than to do better

What makes the criticism so horrible? This word itself generates a feeling of discomfort, isn’t it? It is said that the human tongue is more poisonous than a bee’s sting, figuratively. And, no way on earth, you could have escaped from this bitter experience. Can you relate to this challenge? If yes, then this blog is for you, my friend!

There are two types of criticism: constructive and destructive. There is no clear cut demarcation between the two, but it totally depends on the intention of the critic and, of course, you. It takes only a few words and a few seconds to come out of someone’s mouth but can have a lifetime impact on someone.

Frank A. Clark once said – “Criticism, like rain, should be gentle enough to nourish a man’s growth without destroying his roots.”

Those who give you constructive criticism are definitely your well-wishers as they come up with a solution for the problems they are pointing out or suggest you some ways to improve yourself. If you are on the way of betterment, welcome this constructive criticism with an open heart.

But here comes the main villain ‘the destructive criticism’ which has given this bad name to the criticism and which comes into action only to demoralize you. Hurt your confidence, self-esteem, and dignity. Question your abilities and add more insults to injury.

Some people have taken it as a personal affair to copyedit the people around themselves for self-satisfaction, fuel their superiority. They want to change you just for having a different opinion from them. The motto of destructive criticism is to control you, your mind, your feelings, and emotions, in short (#) puppet of their hands.Is there anybody in the world who says they are handing out destructive criticism? No, don’t think so!

Remember, what Aristotle once said, -“Criticism is something we can avoid easily by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing.” Would you like to be like that?

Here, I would like to tell you a story with a pinch of a tweak but an impressive message in it.

One fine day two Crabs came out from their home to take a stroll on the sand. The elder crab was watching the younger crab and started criticizing for not walking properly. He suggested him to walk straight forward, without twisting from side to side. The younger crab tried a lot but failed each time. Then he said to the elder crab -“set the example yourself, and I will follow you.” Now the elder crab showed him how to walk. But, hang on a minute, what was that? He himself was walking sideways. He was unable to walk straight, however hard he tried.

Moral of the story: Criticizing someone is very easy, but setting an example is quite difficult. In other words, it is easier to criticize than to do better.

This story justifies the thought of Channing Pollock on the matter once said: “a critic is a legless man who teaches running.”

These people are always on the high horse and try to belittle you. They love futile arguments and are the ultimate energy vampires. Be aware of such people around you and distance them if you can. Don’t let them steal your peace of mind, control your emotions, and play the blame game. Be happy, be yourself. Be inspired by the thought of Zig Ziglar-

“Don’t be distracted by criticism. Remember: the only taste of success some people have is when they take a bite out of you.”